This Wednesday morning, as I sit with my coffee watching the world wake up, I can’t help yet think about how different this Thanksgiving feels. Maybe it’s because we’ve all been through so much: losses that knocked us sideways, changes that rewrote our stories, moments that taught us what really matters when everything else falls away.
Thanksgiving has always been about gratitude, yet sometimes it can feel forced, especially when life has handed you more than your fair share of curveballs. The truth is, gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or ignoring the hard stuff. It’s about finding something real to hold onto, even in the mess. And this week, I want to share three things I’ve learned to be genuinely thankful for: things that might resonate with you too, especially if you’ve walked through some dark valleys and are still finding your way.
The People Who Show Up When Words Aren’t Enough
You know who I’m talking about. These aren’t necessarily the people who have the perfect things to say when life implodes. Actually, they’re often the ones who don’t say much at all. They’re the friends who sit in your driveway at midnight because they know you can’t sleep. The coworkers who quietly handle your workload when you’re barely holding it together. The family members who text you random photos of their dog because they know it’ll make you smile for thirty seconds.
I think about my friend Levi, the memorial was over and people were heading back to their normal lives. He lived across country, yet when I asked when his flight was, he said…”On Thursday (4 days later), I thought you’d want someone to hang out with for a few days.” That’s the kind of showing up that changes you.
These people don’t always get the credit they deserve because what they do often feels small to them. Yet for those of us on the receiving end, their presence becomes the thing we remember most. They’re not trying to fix us or solve anything: they’re just committed to being present in whatever way they can.
This week, I’m asking myself: who are these people in my life? And more importantly, when was the last time I told them what their presence has meant to me? There’s something powerful about naming it out loud, about telling someone specifically how they’ve impacted you. Not just “thanks for everything,” yet something real like, “Thank you for sitting with me in that hospital waiting room and not making me talk when I couldn’t find words.”
The Ordinary Moments That Turned Out to Be Everything
Here’s what I’ve learned about tragedy: it has this weird way of making you pay attention to things you used to take for granted. Suddenly, being present for a Tuesday morning conversation with your spouse over coffee becomes sacred. The sound of your kids arguing in the backseat transforms from annoying to precious because it means they’re here, they’re healthy, they’re being wonderfully normal kids. I miss those moments.
I’m grateful for all those ordinary moments that I now realize were actually the good stuff all along. The grocery store runs that used to feel like chores yet now represent freedom and possibility. The texts from friends about their everyday dramas that used to seem trivial yet now feel like lifelines to the world of the living. Even the Monday morning meetings that used to feel like torture yet now represent the gift of having work that matters and colleagues who depend on you.
The thing about gratitude for ordinary moments is that it multiplies them. When you start paying attention to the small stuff, you realize how much beauty is woven into the fabric of regular days. Your morning shower becomes a few minutes of warm solitude. Cooking dinner turns into meditation.
This Thanksgiving week, I’m challenging myself to notice at least three ordinary moments each day and actually pause to appreciate them. Not just think “that’s nice” yet really soak in the fact that I get to experience this small piece of goodness. And then I want to share some of these observations with the people I love, because there’s something beautiful about pointing out the ordinary magic to each other.
The Unexpected Strength We Didn’t Know We Had
If you’ve been through something really hard, you probably know what I’m talking about here. There’s this moment: usually months after the crisis: when you look back and think, “I can’t believe I survived that.” Not just survived it, yet learned to carry it, integrate it, maybe even help others because of it.
I’m grateful for the strength that showed up when I needed it most, even when I was convinced I didn’t have any left. For the days when I got out of bed despite every fiber of my being wanting to stay there. For the conversations I managed to have when talking felt impossible. For the decisions I made when my brain felt like static.
But here’s the part that really gets me: I’m also grateful for the people who saw that strength in me before I could see it myself. The friend who pointed out all the ways I was taking care of my family and community, even in the middle of my own grief. Ironically, to me it felt like my family and community was taking care of me. The colleague who told me I was handling a difficult situation with grace when I felt like I was barely functioning.
Sometimes other people can hold space for our strength when we’re too tired to recognize it ourselves. They become mirrors that reflect back our own capacity for endurance, growth, and healing. They remind us that we’re not just surviving: we’re actually building something meaningful from the pieces.
This strength isn’t the kind that flexes or shows off. It’s quiet and steady, like water wearing down rock over time. It’s the strength that says, “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, yet I’m going to try anyway.” It’s the strength that chooses hope when hope feels ridiculous.
Making It Real This Week
So here’s my gentle challenge for all of us this Thanksgiving week: pick one person from each of these categories and tell them specifically what they mean to you. Not a generic “I’m thankful for you,” yet something real and detailed.
Tell the person who shows up for you exactly how their presence has impacted your life. Share an ordinary moment with someone you love and let them know you noticed it. Thank someone who helped you see your own strength when you couldn’t see it yourself.
The beautiful thing about expressing gratitude is that it’s never just about the person receiving it. When we name what we’re grateful for, when we speak it out loud to the people who matter, we’re also reminding ourselves of all the goodness that exists in our lives. We’re creating connections, building bridges, and strengthening the networks of love and support that carry us through the hard times.
This Thanksgiving might look different than you planned. Your table might have empty chairs or new faces. Your traditions might need to bend and flex around new realities. Yet in the middle of whatever this holiday brings, there are still people to be grateful for, moments to appreciate, and strength to acknowledge.
The gratitude that matters most isn’t the kind that puts on a happy face and pretends everything is fine. It’s the kind that looks directly at both the beauty and the brokenness of life and finds reasons to keep going, keep loving, keep showing up for each other. That’s the gratitude worth sharing this week.
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