grief has both hardened and softened me. even though i carry that hurt every day, i can't imagine who or where i'd be otherwise. it's taken a long time, but i've become very comfortable with my grief and i'm now grateful for the capacity for feeling and love it's shown me i have.
especially in the beginning, i was frustrated that the world cared in seemingly the wrong ways. some were overbearing when i just needed space to be, some were so avoidant i perceived it as selfishness. but i also know that i was selfish in demanding care from some who just will never understand or want to be patient with me.
over the years i've found peace in knowing there are questions we aren't meant to have answers to, in every area of life. i've learned to look around me and see how many people have stuck by, whether they were here from the beginning or came into my life later. even though it hurts to think about people who distanced themselves because that was easier than sitting in grief with me, it is so comforting to know how many people i can pick up the phone and reach on the first ring when something is wrong.
Ironically, I was fearful to hear your story for a long time, only in protecting myself. I would love to have you on the podcast, your journey is very different than many and would be an honor if you're ever interested.
grief has both hardened and softened me. even though i carry that hurt every day, i can't imagine who or where i'd be otherwise. it's taken a long time, but i've become very comfortable with my grief and i'm now grateful for the capacity for feeling and love it's shown me i have.
especially in the beginning, i was frustrated that the world cared in seemingly the wrong ways. some were overbearing when i just needed space to be, some were so avoidant i perceived it as selfishness. but i also know that i was selfish in demanding care from some who just will never understand or want to be patient with me.
over the years i've found peace in knowing there are questions we aren't meant to have answers to, in every area of life. i've learned to look around me and see how many people have stuck by, whether they were here from the beginning or came into my life later. even though it hurts to think about people who distanced themselves because that was easier than sitting in grief with me, it is so comforting to know how many people i can pick up the phone and reach on the first ring when something is wrong.
Ironically, I was fearful to hear your story for a long time, only in protecting myself. I would love to have you on the podcast, your journey is very different than many and would be an honor if you're ever interested.
Context, Alicia was Alaina's suitemate.
i would absolutely love that, and it means so much to me for you to share space with me!