Remote work has changed the game for how we collaborate, brainstorm, and hit our KPIs. It’s given us freedom and flexibility, yet it has also created a digital “canyon” when life gets heavy. When a member of your remote team experiences a loss, that distance can make support feel incredibly awkward. You want to help, yet you don’t want to overstep or say the wrong thing through a Slack message.
There is already an obvious set of isolation boundaries by being remote, not saying anything could increase the distance.
Navigating grief in the workplace is never easy, but in a digital environment, it requires a higher level of intentionality. Here is how to show up for your team without the “awkward” factor.
Silence is the Only Wrong Answer
The biggest mistake leaders make is staying silent because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing. In a remote setting, if you don’t reach out, the employee feels invisible.
Reach out quickly. Send a text, leave a voice note, or send a brief email. You don’t need to have the perfect words; you just need to acknowledge their pain. A simple, “I am so sorry for your loss. We are here for you, and your work is the last thing you should worry about right now,” goes a long way. A voice call would probably be preferred if you can swing it.
The Power of Physical Presence
We live in a world of Zoom calls and emojis, yet when it comes to grief, digital communication has its limits. If it is at all possible for you to be present in person, it is infinitely more valuable than any digital gesture.
If your employee lives within driving distance, show up to the service. If the team is spread out, consider if a representative from leadership can attend. There is a weight and a warmth to physical presence that a screen simply cannot replicate. It tells the employee, “You matter more than the project.” If you can’t be there physically, send something tangible: a meal, a hand-written card, or flowers. In a digital world, the physical holds more weight.
Create a “Grace-First” Re-entry Plan
When a grieving employee returns to their home office, they are often sitting alone with their thoughts. This is where grief support becomes practical.
Don’t just tell them to “take what they need.” Most high-performers won’t take it. Instead, offer specific flexibility:
- Camera-Off Option: Give them permission to keep their camera off during meetings if they aren’t feeling up to being “on.”
- Reduced Load: Temporarily reassign high-stress tasks or client-facing calls.
- Flexible Hours: Grief doesn’t follow a 9-to-5 schedule. Let them work when they have the mental energy, even if it’s outside standard hours.
Leading with Authenticity
As a leader, your team looks to you to set the tone. If you act like nothing happened to maintain “professionalism,” you create a culture of suppressed emotion. Instead, lead with empathy. Acknowledge the loss to the team (with the grieving employee’s permission) and set the expectation that the team will carry the load while their colleague heals.
We often talk about resilience, yet resilience isn’t about bouncing back to “normal” immediately. It’s about navigating the change together. When we value each moment, we recognize that our people are human beings first and employees second.
Supporting a remote team through grief isn’t about having the perfect HR policy; it’s about authentic connection. By showing up: ideally in person: and offering genuine flexibility, you turn a digital office into a real community. Life is short, and how we treat each other in these hard seasons is what truly defines a leader.
Check out my podcasts, contact information and other blogs at arikhousley.com. Or you can get a copy of my bestselling book Always November: Lessons in Loss, Love and Resilience.