I’ve attended two memorials over the past six months—each honoring someone I deeply respected. The first was for a beloved professor from my time at Pepperdine University. The second was for a dear friend.
What struck me at both services wasn’t just how they lived, but how intentionally they prepared for their passing.
At Dr. Caldwell’s memorial, his daughter shared a simple but powerful mantra he instilled in her throughout her life:
“Show up and be prepared.”
Even on his last day, while in hospice care, wildfires forced an evacuation from their family home in Pacific Palisades. Dr. Caldwell calmly told his daughter, “It’s time to go.” Amid the panic—thinking about how to get him out, where to get gas, what to do—she remembered that just days earlier, he had insisted she fill up her tank before heading home. That moment crystallized a larger truth: he had always been prepared.
I vividly recall when Dr. Caldwell pulled me aside during my student years at Pepperdine. He said:
“Arik, you’re a good student body president, a good campus TV anchor, a good leader—and your grades are good enough. But you’re not doing anything great. You have too many irons in the fire.”
Ouch. But it was true.
To this day, his words still echo in my mind. We can’t be everything to everyone. But when we are present—be present. Stay focused. Avoid the distractions that steal our attention from the people in front of us.
I even ditched my Apple Watch for that reason. No matter how many times I told myself not to look, those notifications pulled me out of conversations. Even a glance told the person in front of me they weren’t my priority. That’s not who I want to be.
At Tracy’s memorial this past weekend, the theme repeated itself. Story after story spoke of how present she was—with her energy, her love for people, her ability to live fully in each moment. I have no doubt that, on her final day, she had no regrets about how she spent her time or attention.
That message will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Be present.
Yes, I’ll still get distracted sometimes. We all will. But like Dr. Caldwell’s words from nearly 30 years ago, these reminders stick. And they matter.
So I’ll leave you with this:
Be present. You won’t regret it
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How has grief changed the way you see the world, others, or yourself?
I’d truly love to hear from you—please reply below or email me directly at arik@arikhousley.com.
Tracy offered us each the most precious gift, her unconditional love and presence. We were seen, accepted, and embraced as we were. She helped all souls she touched to bloom like sunflowers.